


Lipstick Tasers and Sweet Revenge

by Accidental_Ducky



Series: Dumb Luck [2]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 01:19:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9525140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Accidental_Ducky/pseuds/Accidental_Ducky
Summary: The things two kids were capable would never cease to amaze James and he began to wonder if it was pure luck or bad supervision that allowed the pair to get their hands on an actual fucking lipstick taser.Or in which James gets tased, Alec gets his ass handed to him, and two little girls get free cake.





	

The things two kids were capable of would never cease to amaze James and he began to wonder if it was pure luck or bad supervision that allowed the pair to get their hands on an actual fucking _lipstick taser_. That kind of shit belonged in a bad spy movie, not in the hands of an overactive five-year-old and a six-year-old that was too serious for her own good. Still, it took a few minutes before he could scold them because A) he was currently being laughed at by no less than three people and B) the electricity was still making his muscles all jumpy.

"Q," James manages after a moment, voice strained from the pain," I'm going to murder you."

"You can't even sit up yet," Q replies unconcernedly," and you'd also be forced to go without a certain privilege for two weeks if you attempt it." If that wasn't entirely accurate, James would've kicked the smug asshole. _It's a good thing I love him_. And that was still a weird thought to have considering James has loved few people in his life; parents, an old flame, Gwen, and now Q.

The little shit.

"Uncle Alec told me to do it," Gwen says when James finally stops twitching. The blond gives his niece a betrayed look, mouth falling open.

"It's true," Sallie adds with a shrug," he said it'd be funny to watch you pee yourself." Gwen nods along and gives an award worthy grin, knowing no adult could possibly get onto her when she did that. With a pained grunt, James gets to his feet and pulls the small darts out of his stomach. "Uncle James?"

"Daddy?" His blue eyes were focused solely on his best friend, wobbling slightly on his feet yet still looking every inch the deadly force that he is. Alec can see that right off the bat, muscles tensing as he readied himself for the long sprint through Q Division. Alec only manages a quiet "Uh-oh" before darting off down the hall with James close on his heels. "Five pounds says my daddy kicks your daddy's butt."

"You're on, Gwen."

"What do you think he'll do when he realizes Q bribed us to do it with a piece of cake?"

"Absolutely nothing," Q states with a small smile," and there's money involved if you promise to keep this a secret."

"Why'd you want us to do it anyway," Sallie asks, tilting her head back so she can see him better.

"Because, Sallie, your daddy set my hair on fire last week and I needed a little vengeance." And the incident was still being talked about for the next month, though they all went suspiciously quiet when Q walked past. It goes without saying that no one tried to set Q's hair on fire again for fear of James Bond chasing them through the building, attaching them to the flagpole, and leaving them there for a day and a half.

Of course, two certain girls had giggle fits about it well into adulthood.

**Author's Note:**

> Sallie Trevelyan belongs to the wonderful psychedelicbubblegum, I'm just using her for the moment.


End file.
